Sunday, June 27, 2010

like childbirth

why is it, that just like childbirth, you forget the work that it takes to bring a new life into your family? just another example of the wisdom of an all-knowing God! He planned for us to forget!

i honestly believe that until you are in the midst of a situation you cannot really prepare for it. some things just have to be learned by going through it. abigail and i are learning together. and it is a work that i have no doubt will pay off. she is learning what it is like to experience love and friendship and fun and silliness and compromise. and i am learning how to give more grace. a lesson that i keep having to learn over and over.

we have been going without a pause since friday evening. we changed hotels on top of it (a planned one just for a change of environment...a good move, pun intended :) and i just got wi-fi up and running. we did the chimelong guangzhou international circus and it as incredible. if you are here adopting an older child (say more than 4 years old?), you should come. it was truly cool. and then we did her medical and vaccinations. suffice it to say, difficult in all ways :(

and then alex (a hong kong version of mr. myagi with all the wisdom and energy to match. Christian style :) and his business partner, tony, came to spoil us times ten!!! oh my! we did it all! if you have met alex, you know that his presence is indescribable. there will never be another alex. we ate so much authentic chinese food it is nuts! we went on a river boat dinner cruise, attended chinese church, visited a 2,500 year old tomb, shopped, and had so much fun. this was soooo good for abigail to experience. alex could talk to her in a way that no one else could ever do. he was the bridge between God, us, and her.

before i forget, we attended a very large house church -- 1,000 for each of the four services! this pastor, samuel lamb, has been persecuted and is a living testament for being willing to die for Christ. his first imprisonment was 16 months. his second 20 years. and this was a prison labor camp where their goal was to work you to death. tony said it was similar to a Nazi camp except at the Nazi camps they wanted to kill you physically and in communist china, their goal was to kill you physically and spiritually. this man is famous in china and alex felt so honored to spend time with him. he asked us to stay after church and visit. he demands complete attention. twice i was reprimanded for not looking at him. i don't like spankings :) good dose of humility.

abigail had never set foot in a church before today.

if you followed the rwanda blog, one of these pictures should remind you of something :)

i still want to post orphanage pictures....hopefully tomorrow.

before signing off, one goal i have for writing this is to not only provide a journal for abigail heming (and be therapeutic for me :), but to provide insight into those who might be considering adoption and/or are getting ready to travel. it is worth it. yes, it is hard and painful. but what good things aren't? her life is literally a 180 degree from one short week ago. she is blossoming and experiencing feelings that she does not know how about. i am coming to believe that her relationships with women, most likely, have been very, very bad. she has withstood suffering and yet still has a very happy spirit. she will now look up most of the time, she will make eye contact, she will not ignore being spoken to. tony said she is suffering from very low self-esteem and because i am who she needs the most and wants approval from, she wants to push me away. we girls can be quite complicated.

your prayers sustain me. thank you. right now she is sitting next to me by her choice and my heart swelled. i pray one day she will love me as much as i love her.

good night from the 20th floor of a chinese hotel :)


  1. Jan,
    I remember how hard it was for me when Addie pushed me away in China. I'm praying that the adjustment period will go quickly for you all!
    Thanks for updating!

  2. Oh, Jan...that was such a great post. I just adore your heart. You are such an inspiration to me. And I'd love to hear more about your church experience. Wow...our freedoms are so precious and underappreciated.

    Great pics!!!

  3. Wow Jan!! What a heart felt post! Thank you for sharing so openly...God is using you in such a big way. Praying for you all!!! XOXO

  4. quick is not always best.. slow and steady Jan. Lavish her with love and grace. cover her in prayer.
    as you know, it took Daniel almost 3 yrs for Daniel to love me.. completely love me. and it is soooo good and yummy now. i never thought i would make it out of the dark days.. but God knew! So thankful we have a Lord that carries us and sends us friends to hold us up :O)
    your words in your post tonight sounded as if i was saying them myself years ago.. my heart knows your heart. i love you sista.
    God has walked before you and He will not forsake you.
    tonight, Daniel told Bob he was taking me out on a date.. on his bike.. ;o)and then he was taken me shopping for whatever i wanted to buy! LOL
    be blessed~
    awesome about the church! i love going to church in china! can't wait to hear more about the experience in Aug.

  5. oh goodness, Lyn- let me rephrase what I meant!! of course we all want the bonding to go quicker than longer- i don't want anyone to go through what my fmaily went through - ever- and certainly not the length- so yes yes yes- quick!! but i meant to say- if she is starting to heal.. it will be a process.. it will take time..
    Lyn, you are loved. pls know that!! ;o)

  6. Great to read the updates. I'm praying for you.